December 2008
“Stripping is kind of like being a clown,” I offered. “I was just...”
– Diablo Cody in Candy Girl consoling another stripper about her lost future as a clown.
Megavideo and I are on another 54 minute break.
interrobangin:
I feel like my tumblr has been suffering this winter break. Mostly because all I want to do it talk about characters in Bryan Fuller shows like they’re my friends.
George (from Dead Like Me) and I would have really gotten along. Probably because we’re the same person. I would have been like her college friend, except not a slut who wanted to do her father.
I love how these shows...
Family Ties
The week of holiday family torture will officially end tomorrow. I’m about to kill my father, we were not meant to spend this much time together. I need space, or at least some tunes. Since I foolishly left my ipod in Columbia, I have been forced to endure a car trip with my parents without any form of escape. I don’t think I have tried this trick since I discovered headphones and...
Today has been interesting. We saw my mom’s childhood friend that we hadn’t seen since high school. I like her, she thinks I’m funny. But mostly I’m sick of being around family. There are too many personalities for one house and 5 days is too long to deal with it, I need a scrap of sanity, and maybe a little alone time.
I spent the last of my giftcards at Barnes and Noble...
Also...
I’ve stopped winning at cards. It’s time to go home.
“I guess I’ll get rid of this black one, I mean 12.”
– My grandmother while playing Phase 10. There are no “black ones” in phase 10. Then when we asked her why she said black she said because they’re useless. Oh, dear.
The vacation is officially over.
It’s official, we have hit our tolerance of each other. The stubborn front door that requires a secret handshake to close lend to a shouting match at dinner. I was attacked for talking to my cousin on the phone when she was driving. (Apparently the second you get on the phone, you lose the ability to think about two things at once, and you will die.) Tension is running high and now is the...
The dangers of over brining a turkey
Everything is just really salty, and then you get this conversation:
“No, you don’t soak it over night!”
“No, it’s only half a cup of salt not a whole one!”
“Yes, you have to rinse it off first!”
“No, I know because I do this all the time.”
As you can tell, my grandmother is very combative. She has to argue about everything. She...
Rachel Ray : the Food Network :: Sarah Palin : the...
Mrs. Gilfillen: So what does everyone think of this Rachel Ray?
Grandma: She's the Sarah Palin of the cooking world.
Mom: Ahhh, don't say that! I like her!
Aunt Holly: Yeah, she is.
Dad (from the other room behind his General Custer autobiography): I hope she has more sense than Sarah Palin
My grandmother talks to herself
I can hear her in the kitchen right now.
It's just been the best day ever!
I seriously had the most successful shopping trip in recent memory. My bank account will be recovering for a few days but it was totally worth it. I also insisted that we have a Christmas dinner even though it isn’t Christmas day, because my 100% unsentimental grandma did not see the point in having a big dinner for just for people. So yesterday we opened presents then ate meatloaf. But now...
Apparently I make a lasting impression
lovememore:
Step-grandfather: How’s the band? Me: I’m not in the band, that’s Nathan. Step-grandfather: Then you’re the Chicago one. Me: That’s Monte. Step-grandfather: You’re not the girl, so who are you? Me: Robert. Step-grandfather: Well that’s a great name. Did you know that’s my name too?
This will never not be funny.
WatchI was deleting some old email and I found this video. I think it might be the best internet video I’ve seen all year.
“Wikipedia… What’s that?”
– My mom seriously just said those words to me.
Happy Two Months Tulmblr
We’ve been in Florida for almost 3 hours and I was a little worried when, after an hour not a single passive agressive/back handed compliment/judgment had been passed on us. But then dad voluntarily announced what book he was reading and grandma replied “did you say something worth hearing, Mark?” Phew, I thought you were dying again.
Just when you thought Maxim was for Neanderthals, →
ericamarie:
“COED magazine” brings it to a whole new level of grotesque, jaded chauvinism. A couple of my faves? Learn how to sneakily convince a girl to have sex with you when it seems like she doesn’t really want to, and how to cheat, because, of course, “all guys do it, and no matter the pain, frustration or STD transmissions it causes, there’s not much anyone can do about it.”
Dear COED,...
Today in church
lovememore:
The minister said “Merry Christmas!” I corrected him automatically in my head to “Happy holidays!”
My dad likes to talk to strangers at Christmas time and he always tells them Merry Christmas and my mom always asks him if he was sure they weren’t Jewish.
All I want for Christmas is tension you can cut...
As we speak, my parents and I are preparing for the storm that is Christmas in Florida. Tomorrow morning we will leave for West Palm Beach, home of hanging chads and Marge Bennett, my grandmother. Also there will be my intellectually pretentious Aunt Holly and Uncle John. Let the judgement begin.
It will be a house full of clashing personalities and habits. My dad moves to slow for my...
Watchgoodnightgracie:
When we went to JIm Henson’s Fantastic World at the Atlanta History Center (thanks for the recommendation, Drexxx) there was a part of the exhibit that showed Henson’s work that did not involve muppets.
Here’s his 1965 short film Time Piece. It’s real weird, but you guys will like it.
I’m glad you guys liked it! That museum is real fun.
Barack Obama has added you as a friend on Facebook →
lovememore:
indieandyy:
apsies:
Click the link, you’ll LOL, trust me.
LOLZ!
I'm just not as young as I used to be....
Well, apparently I have become an old woman much sooner than I imagined. My doctor told me today that not only do I have high cholesterol and will have to cut back on the cheese (ack!), but I also have hypo thyroid and will eventually have to go on medication for it. Don’t worry hypothyroidism is most common among women over 60.
Perfect.
A little-known fact about myself
diaryofanalcoholic:
I am obsessed with post-modern, American literature.
Over break, I intend to read the following:
The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon
Gravity’s Rainbow also by Mr. Pynchon
Falconer by John Cheever
Native Son by Richard Wright
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
Now I remeber why we are starcrossed lovers. I have looked at/thought about buying all of those at some...
“Look at this parking lot! I thought people weren’t supposed to have any...”
– My mom looking for a parking place at the mall. We’re last minute shoppers.
5 tags
Mahna mahna
Today I went with Mary Margaret and her family to the Atlanta History Center to see the Jim Henson exhibit. It was quite enjoyable even though I think I’ve seen it before.
They had everything. Kermit, Bert and Ernie, Mahna Mahna, Dark Crystal charaters. However, I was disappointed that there were not more Sesame Street characters, and Mary Margaret wanted Fragles. But I guess you...
Me: I miss the stars at school they're really hard to see, we have a lot of street lights.
Mary Margaret: We have concrete...... It's everywhere.
Car Passengers: (silence)
Me: What?
5 tags
It's been one of THOSE days
So I didn’t leave my house today, except to go to dinner to my favorite mexican restaurant with my parents. If you’ve ever been to a mexican restaurant with me or even if you’ve ever eaten chips with me you’ve probably heard me talk about how, yeah these are ok but they are nothing to Los Gallos chips!
It’s true. They are the best chips in the whole world. Period. Go...
Commitment
Tumblr, I have been neglecting you and I apologize. It was a rough finals week for us and we both said some things we really didn’t mean, so before we go to couples counseling, I promise to make a bigger effort to be there for you and write more things for you. Are you happy now?
Also, our blog hits have sucked recently we went from 5 or 6 times a day to sometimes 0 so I think we need to...
copycats:
“Since U Been Gone” by Ted Leo
...
copycats:
“Ageless Beauty” remixed by The Most...
My new favorite internet time-killer/obsession →
It's a good thing she didn't go that way, it would...
I really wish that I could live blog my road adventures between Missouri and Georgia. But the only real way to understand it is to experience it.
At breakfast, at my Bob Evan’s in O’Fallon, MO there was a father and son sitting at the table across from me. The kid had to have been 5 at the youngest probably more like 7, and the father kept talking to him in baby voice and referring to...
Does Courtney Cox live here?
applelove:
Greatest Moment of my Night. -Knock Knock Knock Random Girl at my door: Hey, I didn’t want to just walk in. Me: hahaha Random: Wait, is Courtney here? Me: I don’t think she lives here anymore. Random: Are you kidding me? Me: No. Random: Wait, Does Courtney Cox live here? I know that’s a famous person but… Me: Nope. (holding back a giggle loop) Random:...
gotothisgotothisgotothisNOW →
“Wow. I guess this is what it looks like when the unpopular fat girl’s...”
– The script of Twilight if it were ten times shorter and more interesting.
copycats:
“We Will Become Silhouettes” by The...
getatumblrdoittt:
What the fuckkkkkk?
Katie this terrifies, and confuses me.
Dear Tumblr, I swear this is the last finals...
As far as finals week and my mood is concerned, this one has been not bad. For survivors of finals week fiasco fall 07 (read: Jen Ruzica), you know it can be much, much worse. But I’ve been sleeping this year and eating brownies and fixing dinner and in fact enjoying time not in class.
But as far as work is concerned this week has sucked real bad. Missourian all day Moday. Turning in my...
Watch
The Joy in Forgetting - Bright Eyes